*blows the dust off my blog*
Hello, everyone. This feels a little strange writing on my blog again. I have been away from my blog for about 3 months and here I am again writing a blog post for the first time since September. I wanted to write this because I feel like I have an explanation to make, mostly for myself.
When I started my blog over a year ago, I was so excited. For anyone who really knows who I am, they would know that I am that person that has two personalities. I have always had this side to me that desired great things for myself, but my other side was always too shy and intimidated to let that part of me shine. I have this part of me that loves the internet, I love expressing myself on here because my other side does not like to express herself to people in real-life. I have been this way for so long, probably since I was 13. I started this blog to finally start expressing this loud, outspoken and creative side of me. But I still didn't want anyone to know about it. This blog was my safe haven. It was my escape from the real world to be and do everything that I love (hence my blog name) Recently, my blog has no longer become my safe haven. With every word and post I make on here, someone that knows me in person will see this. Honestly, that scared me. Most of all it genuinely upset me. I felt like I have taken 5 steps back. It got to the point where I could no longer bring myself to even type "blogger" in my search engine. I literally have not been on my blog at all for nearly 3 months.
Well, I have sat myself down and thought... "what's the solution here Lena?" I could start a whole new blog and start all over again but then what? I do not want to start a new blog. I didn't want to because this blog feels like home. I realized the solution here was to fix my flaw. Which is to start accepting this side of me and start to embrace it and show it to everyone who knows me. That is what I have been afraid of all along, That is why I wanted to keep my blog to myself. Perhaps I am a little crazy for feeling this way but maybe someone out there can relate. So you know what? I'm going to write on here again, make posts about anything I want and I will not care about who reads it. This blog will always be my safe place but now, I'm just going to start letting people become a part of it too.
**For anyone who is still here to read this, thank you for making me love this and for being a part of the reason why I can't leave this blog. The support I have received on my previous posts from you amazing ladies is what makes me love this so much.